


The Sincerest Form of Flattery

by FleetSparrow



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Fantasized Bruce/Dick, Fantasized Joker/Batman, Identity Porn, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 12:08:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15461037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/pseuds/FleetSparrow
Summary: Joker has Dick tied up in the old observatory, trying to reminisce with him about the good old days.  Things take a strange turn.





	The Sincerest Form of Flattery

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the DC Kink Meme on LJ, from an old prompt:
> 
> "Joker/Dick as Batman. Joker knows that the new Batman is the first Robin. He misses Batman, so ties Dick up for old times sake. Even Dick is reminded of the good old days- they both commiserate over Bruce's death, and things start to get a bit...strange. Giving Dick a daddy complex would NOT be a problem for me either.
> 
> Screw continuity issues. Also, make this as NC-17 as possible... if possible. I LOVE YOU ANON."

Thank god Robin was on the other side of Gotham with Black Bat, or this might be a little weird.

Well, weirder.

Dick was tied to a giant rocket that had replaced the old telescope in the abandoned Levi Observatory. Batman was tied up like a sidekick. Which he was. A sidekick.  _The_ sidekick, in fact.

A point Joker had been making non-stop for the past five minutes.

His routines were getting old.

“Not to interrupt or anything,” Dick said, “but is there gonna be a point to this? Because I've still got the whole business district to patrol and we're not getting any younger.”

Joker sighed. “Kids today. So impatient with their elders.” He hopped up on the rocket, all but straddling Dick. “Do you remember the first time I tied you to a rocket all those years ago?”

“Distinctly. It took two days to wash that hair gel out completely.”

“Ah, but it was a good look, wasn't it?”

“It was,” Dick said. “I remember the first time I punched you. That wasn't a good look.”

“So much water under the bridge,” Joker said, looking wistful. “None of your other Robins like to reminisce with me. They're always like, ‘Batman will get you!’ But you! You were such a special boy! You had a sense of humor.”

“I did. You've always been funny, Joker. Usually funny.”

“A backhanded compliment that is,” Joker said, his smile falling into an equally exaggerated frown.

“I mean, I usually got where you were going with your jokes,” Dick said. “And besides, it's hard to say Batman's going to save me when Batman's tied up.”

“You see? You always have understood!” Joker bounced where he sat, uncomfortably close to Dick's groin.

“What is this, Joker?” Dick asked. “What's with the rocket?”

Joker leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. “The old days were good, weren't they?”

“They were. Right up until you killed a Robin,” Dick said, the hardness in his voice very Batman-like.

“It wasn't my best work, I'll admit,” Joker said. “But hey, he came back! A little worse for the wear, maybe, but it's not like he's gone forever.”

“Unlike Batman,” Dick said softly.

“Unlike Batman,” Joker repeated solemnly. “That's the thing. Nowadays, heroes are dying and they're staying dead. Not like the old days. A villain had a good thing going, killing heroes only for them to show up again like a bad penny. I miss that.”

He looked Dick straight in the eyelets. “That's why I've got you here. Pour one out for the greatest Bat, long may he reign. Nobody understands what we meant to each other. Except you. You were the first Robin, the first kid in the tiny shorts to fly-kick me across a room. You were there for all of it. And now he's gone.”

Dick could barely believe his eyes. Joker was actually...sad. He'd never seen the clown like this. He tested his bonds; still a little tight. For a moment, Dick actually wanted to hug him.

“I miss him, too,” Dick said. “More than anyone.”

“See? You've always understood.”

They stared at each other for a long minute, sympathetic in their shared loss.

“You really gonna shoot me into space?” Dick asked.

“Nah. Then who would I have to play with?”

“True.”

“Your new Robin’s no fun, do you know that?”

“It just takes him a while. He's a little grouchy. Like his dad.”

Joker sniffed comically and wiped an invisible tear from his eye. “I always knew he'd be a good Batdad.”

“He was to me,” Dick said.

Silence settled over them once more.

“You know, you're a much better talker than your old Bat.”

“It's a gift.”

“I'll bet he gave you so many complexes, though.”

Dick raised an eyebrow under the cowl. “My therapist might agree.”

“Did you ever get the big one?” Joker asked. “The big D?”

“The big D?”

“Daddy complex.”

Dick's mouth fell open. “Um. N-no?”

“You're a bad liar. And, you know, the real Batman would've throat-punched me by now.”

“Well, I guess that makes me a cheap imitation.”

“I wouldn't call you cheap. Just, not so aggressive.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“For my throat, it is.”

Dick had to agree.

“The funny thing is, I think we both miss him for what we couldn't get from him.”

“Oh yeah?” Dick's mouth went dry. “And what was that?”

“Love. Or deep dicking. I've seen you swing.”

Dick went blank. “And you… missed it, too?”

“Never got it!” Joker said.

“And you think that's why I miss him?”

“Among other reasons,” Joker said. “Think about it. You could've got out of these ropes ages ago, but you're still sitting here reminiscing with me. Admit it. You miss him bad.”

“I….”

Joker leaned forward again, his lips coming dangerously close to Dick's. “Do you get off thinking about him? Do you feel close to him in his suit?”

Dick shut his eyes and let out a small moan.

“Does it feel like him when his glove touches your skin? Can you convince yourself you miss him solely platonically?”

Dick's breath hitched in his throat. “And what would you give me?”

“One time. For old time's sake,” Joker whispered.

Dick opened his eyes. “One time. That's all.”

Joker moved up, fully straddling Dick, and reached down to the suit’s crotch. Dick bucked up into his hand.

“There's a clasp,” Dick started, but Joker’s nimble fingers had already found it, the crotch plate popping open. Deftly, he pulled out Dick's already hardening cock. Dick rolled his hips up, wanting more contact.

Joker undid his trousers, his pale cock lying atop Dick's. He wrapped his long fingers around them both and stroked them. Dick groaned, his hands playing with the ropes. He was tied down, he'd say to himself later. He didn't choose to, he'd say, not really. But the fact was, he was picturing Bruce the same as Joker must be.

Dick couldn't help but laugh. It was so bizarre, all of this. Being tired to a rocket, being sexed up by the Joker of all people. It was hilarious.

Joker began laughing, and Dick wondered if he was close to coming. Their laughter mixed, Joker’s hand still stroking them, until Dick came with a cry. Joker rutted against him until he came, spilling onto the Batsuit.

Dick undid his bonds, not looking at Joker as the two of them fixed themselves.

“You know I'll have to take you in next time,” Dick said.

Joker grinned. “Ah, but what a next time it will be. So long, Batsy!”

Dick watched him go, then slid off the rocket. Robin was not going to hear about this patrol.


End file.
